Monday, April 30, 2012

Fun in the Sun...or Shade

The trip to the nudist resort was a success. I loved the vibe...the people were so friendly (but not in a creepy, wanna-feel-you-up kind of way). It's like everyone seemed so comfortable with their body, or they did a great job hiding it if the weren't. I hit it on the right day...they were having some kind of little Blues/Jazz event. There was a body painter (which I would have totally been up for if I hadn't saw it took him like 2 hours to do a bathing suit on the first girl....who was about a size I'm a size do the would've taken too much patience for me to stand still that long. Then they played games of Simon Says and Hokie Pokie. Everyone was laughing and being really cool.

 In both of the pool areas (which is where I went) clothing is NOT an option. All I can say is thank the stars for plenty of shade to sit in. In all the other areas it is optional, and I considered staying at the beach area on the lake where it wasn't as crowded, but then I thought about alligators and since I wanted to swim decided not to chance getting bit on the arse and having to explain THAT when I got to the ER doctors and Scrooge.

The only time I felt awkward was in the first 2 minutes after signing in. It was time to go to my car and get my things for the pool (you're to carry a towel at ALL times to sit on). The lady said that most people just get undressed at their cars and don't bother going to the bathroom to do it, so that's what I did. When I first took off my pants and was standing in the middle of a public place, with nothing but a bra, t-shirt, and flip-flops the thought ran through my head "WTF am I doing?...then I got the giggles and was OK."

I may have written about this before after my field trip, but I was surprised to find that women's boobs aren't the only things that suffer the effects of gravity. Men have that same problem a little further south. Not that I was trying to look, but it's kind of hard to not notice when you have things swinging at your eye level if you're sitting on a chair. ANyway, the kid's song "Do Your Ears Hang Low? DO they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?...." kept playing through my head with a substitution for the word "ears", and I'll let you figure out what the word was. Go ahead...try it now...I'll wait.

OK good. That was my recap of my trip to the nudist resort. I'll definitely be going back.

Friday, April 27, 2012 title ideas

A week or so ago I made a MAJOR decision. A decision of all decisions. Hopefully, this is the right one, but only time will tell.

The decision you ask? Well. it was to go stop taking my depression meds ( I'm not talking about the Klonopin..I'm keeping that! It works just as fast as Tequila, goes with any kind of chaser, and I don't end up with a hangover. (JK...I'm too paranoid about being an Alchy because of my family history on mom's side, so I rarely drink)

Anyway, since I don't have health care coverage, the $120 per month for Dr. visits + the $75 per month for meds are something I can really do without. I'm hoping that I can do without the meds just as well. I still have bouts of depression even while on the meds. HOWEVER..since I've came to the conclusion that my depression is now more from environmental issues than a chemical imbalance (too bad I don't get paid for my medical advice to myself), I think that I can handle those times all by myself with just a little help from my anxiety meds (klonopin) to get me through the rough times (Scrooge's mood swings).

I have learned the "self-talk" that I need to give myself in my dark moments. It's a Mantra now. I tell myself over and over
 "you know who you are. You are smart, confident, and matter what someone else tries to tell you. YOU YOU YOU are your best friend and YOUR opinion of you matters MOST. You're upset? You're feeling hopeless? Like things will never get better? well, guess what! You thought that thousands of times in the past 6 years, but each time you've came out on the other end. It WILL all work out..YOU WILL be ok."
This has been working for a while. I hope I'm not fooling myself and it was just the good effects of the meds. We'll see. I'm not so worried because I do know how to get help for myself...all by myself if needed. I know where to turn and what the symptoms are. I scheduled an appt for 2 months down the road just in case things start going haywire . This way I'll have an appt. set up so I won't have to wait if i'm really feeling bad.

I really don't like putting certain things in my body if it can be avoided. I've been researching Buddhism a little and hope to use some of the ideas to help me. After the meds, I'm going to work on the Diet Sodas. I know that it seems like I'd want to try to stop drinking the DIet SOda before giving up the meds, but I'm sure the effects of not drinking my dt. soda will be as bad, or worse than, not taking meds. I'm so addicted to it that it is not funny, and this is why I try to make sure my kids learn good habits at an early age.When I was younger and still smoked (even after smoking for years) it was easier to give up cigs than it ever has been to give up sodas. The only time it's been somewhat easy to not drink soda was when I was pregnant with my  last 3 kids. I'm not about to go THAT route again, so I guess it'll be just me and my stubborness to tackle that.

All that to say...I'm not taking my anti-depressants anymore. If you notice 98% of my post are in caps for the next few weeks...feel free to ask me the hated,dreaded question...."HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING YOUR MEDS????

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Being Alone....MKLI writing prompts

Linking up with MamaKat's writing prompts again. Check it out every week. get a prompt on Tuesday...write about back and comment on other participators on Thursdays. Fun fun Fun :)  I do have to make it a quickie today ...but sometimes a good quickie doesn't hurt a thing.

I chose # 3...List the top 10 things I miss about being alone. 

1. being able to go to the bathroom in peace.
2. being able to make a quick trip into the store to pick up a few things
3. staying up until 4am. and being able to sleep until 9 am.
4. not having to cook everyday
5. spending a whole day readin.
6. working an actual job...with adults around (even bitchy ones)

There's lots  more since I'm kind of a loner by nature, but since I'm pressed for time 6 will have to do. 

The thing that I plan to do all by myself in celebration of another successful semester finished is to go to the nudist resort that my Sociology class went to on a field trip. Scrooge will hold things down with the kids while I have my "day out". I'm going to pick 2 good books, a couple mags, and some money for drinks (there's a bar at the pool, and a couple quarts of #50 sunblock and relax there the whole day. I've been excited to try something new lately and this is my pick.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

MTVv Cribs... Eat Your Heart Out

I wrote about making a doll house from recycled-reused items for my kids. right here With school we've only had bits and pieces of time to work on it, so it has taken this long to get it finished. It took us about 8 -10 hours to finish the house and the furniture.

I'm not expecting any offers from the Mattel company or NASA for our awesome design skills, but for under 15 bucks, a little creativity, lots of fun and  help from my 3, 4, and 5 year old we finished not just a doll house but a spacestation/garage/street/driving area for Zavie and his hotwheels.

We had so much fun that I'm trying to think of some different similar projects to keep them busy during the break between semesters.

here are some pictures....and only after bath time did it occur to me to take pictures of the messes we made of ourselves. We had tissue paper and bits of fabric stuck all over us to.
the "Open House"
the baby's room
ze master bedroom
the living room
the purple and bright green couch that I myself would love to have..because I love purple and lime green
we need some kitchen chairs
the wall mounted tv made from the insert from my cell phone box...i'm sure Barbie will love looking at Tebow

Alligator Lake at the end of Zavie's driving area
rocket pad on top of the garage and the rocket getting ready to go in and get some work done;

I would have done a little more to Zavie's area...but he had ran out of patience by the time we finished this much, so we called it complete. They've been having lots of fun so far. I wonder how long it'll take one of them to try to climb on top and squish it.

Monday, April 23, 2012

My Teddy Bear

I was in a light sleep. The same light sleep I'm usually in during any hour of the night. It was about 4 am. The blinds (2 sets on one window..but that's another story)  were closed with only a soft light from the street lights escaping through the cracks. Leaving just enough light to see shapes a little more distinctive than shadows.  I see a little girl's shape shuffle into the living room and stop right beside me...unsure of what to say because she thinks I'm asleep. She nudges me over into the back side of the couch as she snuggles in. Her warm little body and soft breathing blending right in with the quiet whir-whir-whir of the ceiling fan. I tuck her head under my chin and hug her close. For some reason I am surprised that her feet extend to below my knees. When did that happen? She was small enough to curl into my belly not too long ago it seems. Then she rolls over and tucks her "Mr. Pink Bear" between us and whispers that she had a dream that she and I had went to the beach together with no one else and played all day. We lay there and for the next 20 minutes we were on a little beach. We made it have pink sand and colorful seashells and flowers and butterflies. We were drifting off to sleep there on our pretend beach knowing we would "return" in a couple hours when her baby brother awoke. It was so peaceful.

Then......... she farted. Away flew the butterflies, the sand, and the colorful seashells. We were back at home on our everyday life...and she murmured, "I loved out trip to the beach." Then we both went to sleep for real.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

the first 30 minutes today....MKLI writing prompts

I'd been trying to decide what to write for mamakats writing prompts this week. Then I realised I already had a good one written that I could use. This is for prompt #2:
I thought my child was going to sit patiently and wait a few extra minutes for breakfast since, but instead he decided to take matters into his own hands (and mouth).

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Being Angelina Jolie....MKLI writing prompts

It's time to join in Mama kat's writer's workshop again. Check her out every Tuesday. Pick a topic from her weekly prompts. Write about it. Link up on her sight on Thursday. It's as easy as that and  great and fun way to "meet" other bloggers.

I chose prompt #5: WHich celebrity would I want to  be in real life and why?

I think I'd probably choose Angelina Jolie-Pitt and not just because her hubby is Brad Pitt (although that would have it's perks I'm sure).

Over the years  Jolie has been associated with doing some crazy stuff.....but (at least until she dropped down to about 90 lbs) she is hot enough to get by with lots of stuff. I like that she hasn't minded appearing to be a little on the unusual side and willing to do her own thing regardless of what it could look like. I love that she has money and adopts kids. I love that she has a group of staff to follow her around and carry all those kids when she wants to take them along. Hell, if I could afford a helper for each of my 3 kids, who could tag along and hold hands, and bags, and do the chasing down of the ones trying to run away I would love it. All the perks of being a mother with lots of help with the not-so-good parts seems like only a good thing to me.

She's independently rich enough to do good all by herself. She travels to other countries. She's culturally diverse and a progressive thinker. My hero.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Quiet thoughts

It's quiet out here at the back outdoor study area at my college. There are only a few students here studying. The traffic in the distance can almost be imagined as waves as I close my eyes and feel the light breeze on this warm Florida night.

 I feel homeless between 8p.m. and 6 a.m. because my house is not a home to me until my kids are awake and about. The kids will be in bed by the time I go to the place I keep my clothes. There will be nothing there for me but the couch, my laptop, and a book.

I'm not making light of homelessness. I've lived in a car for two months many years ago, so I have an idea of what it's like. I had more of a home in that car than I do with a 3 bedroom house.

I'll wake up tomorrow with the rising of the sun (and my son..who is always my first to get up) and things will be just fine. But for now, I think I'll keep my eyes closed and pretend I'm at the beach for a while longer.

Monday, April 2, 2012

The WIcked Years

I've been missing the weekly prompts over at Mamakatslosinit for the last few weeks. Not because it isn't awesome over there, but I've just felt so busy for the last month. (Not that I can see anything I've actually accomplished though).  I picked prompt #1:

A book Review:
Wicked: The Life and Times of  Wicked Witch of the West.
by Gregory Maguire

For as long as I can remember I've had a love for The Wizard of Oz. I think it must have  started with some old Christmas ornaments my grandmother has that we hung on our tree every year. The anticipation of fall coming around so I could watch it was almost as bad as waiting for Christmas. (These were the days before we had countless channels and anything to watch 24 hours a day. This was the time before VCR's....yes I said VCR's, So the one time it came on TV each year was IT for me.

Over the years my favorites have always been the Wicked WItch  of the West and her flying monkeys. When I was little I imagined my wedding dress would look like Glenda's dress. Munchkinland was the MOST beautiful place on earth.

For some reason, I've never been one to collect things, so I don't have a room (or even a box or shelf) dedicated to Wizard of Oz things. I'm not a Trivia person, so sorry....I can't tell you how old Toto was when he died, or how many Rubies covered The Ruby Slippers.

My sister had been telling me about the book for who knows how long, and I FINALLY remembered to have a copy ordered to our local library.

So on to the review. I loved it. It had some slow places through-out, but I was able to press on because loved the characters so much already. I felt pissed and disappointed at a few of the "good" characters, and had an even bigger "witch crush" on Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, than ever before. From the time she was born it was obvious she was an outcast for the most part, and it's a wonder she turned out to be the strong woman she was all the way up until the end when Dorothy melted her. Just like in "real life" there are social injustices, political corruption, and greed throughout the land. Try may be surprised who you end up viewing as "the good guys" and "the bad guys".

I was happy to find out that this is a series 'The Wicked Years" and that there are 3 more books in the series. In order I think are:

1. Son of a Witch--- yes she had a son.

2. A lion Among Men---the story of , Brrr, (name of) the cowardly lion and his history with the Wicked Witch before she was The Wicked Witch and before he met Dorothy.

3.Out of Oz----the grand finale that has Glinda the Good Witch on house arrest, Brrr the Cowardly Lion on the run from the law of the land, and a return of Dorothy to wrap things up.

I'm on a waiting list for "The Son of a Witch". Hopefully, it becomes available when this semester is over in a few weeks. It'll be a good start to a restful summer.