I'm coming to grips with not being the award-winning happy-to-stay-at-home mom. I love being around my kids...mostly. I love having regular breaks from my kids. I would like to go to work, except I don't want them to have to spend the majority of their time at daycare. I could happily be Melissa Myers (?) the Yahoo CEO who has a power career and is ok spending lots of time at work. I could be if, their dad could be a SAHD while I work. Maybe there is something behind quality vs. quantity. I think if I worked, we would all benefit from 3 hours of time in the evening where I felt like focusing on them because I'd missed them all day. Now I just want them to WATCH TV ALREADY! oh yeah! except I don't want them to watch TV. They didn't in the first 3 years of life (we didn't have a TV until about 3 years ago). I rush to get them in bed in under 15 minutes because NO! I don't feel like reading ANOTHER book because we've read, wrote, counted, sang, fought, timed-out, wiped messes, and developed headaches all. day. long. Then I look at their faces and see how sweet and fast time is. I want to embrace these moments. Then I think of something I need to do. Then I feel guilty because even though I'm there almost 24/7...I'm not THERE.
Is it too much to hope for that the peace of the last 2 months will hold? It's been the most peaceful weeks of the last 7 years. I'll take what I can get.