I've been MIA for a while now. I didn't realize it had been so long because I've had so much going on over here. The kids had a couple Dr. appt.s. They all had some little bug for 2 or 3 days. There have been county fairs and math test filling up the times in between. Then the biggest thing is that my oldest son (23) has had a rough week.
He and his girlfriend seperated in September. He lives about 3 hours away from his daughter, so he doesn't get to see her very often. BUT he still loves her mom. Her mom is on her 4th new boyfriend since October. She has been seeing the last guy since around Thanksgiving and they decided they were getting married. Her and my grandbaby live with her parents. He lives with them. Him and her had a few problems. She asked my son to come back. He moved back because the "other" guy was suppose to be leaving in 2 days to go back to his mother's house. "Other" guy did leave, and my son was extremely happy to be back together with her and his daughter.
Then 3 days later she gets back together with the "other" guy and moves him back into the house, so my son is left sleeping on the couch in her parent's living room. When he talks about leaving she gets upset and complains about him just running away again ??????!!!!????? but he's suppose to stay there while her boyfriend is staying there. My son calls me because he's heartbroken. It's hard to tell him what to do, and to let him know that as much as it hurts it will pass. He spent 3 days in a mental hospital because he was feeling suicidal. When I called to speak to him during this time she didn't bother to inform me where he was ....just that he wasn't there right now.
I stay out of my son's personal affairs. I've never said harsh things about her or to her, and I don't act like the wicked step-mother although I'd like to after this past week. Girlfriend hasn't been a mother long enough to know how protective mothers can REALLY be over their children no matter how old they are....she's about to find out though. I'm going to try to hold my tongue because I wouldn't want to make my son's situation worse...but I'm really about to go off on her. I do try to cut her some slack and keep in mind that she's been diagnosed as bi-polar.
As much as I would like for my son to be able to be with his daughter I have to say I'm glad he moved back into his grandparents house yesterday, and will just settle for visiting his daughter because the other situation just wasn't healthy. I wish I could let him know that everything bad at that age seems like it the end of the world, but it will pass if he gives it time. I told him that if he were to hurt himself it would set off a chain reaction because he is loved and needed very much. I would be beyond devastated. I wouldn't even be able to put words to how I'd be. As a result, his little brother and sisters would suffer. His daughter would suffer, and I'd probably never get a chance to be in her life.
He's my baby. We have a special bond because he was raised an only child. It was just me and him for the longest. We've had fights (puberty), and great times, and fights (puberty again). He gave me chicken pox when he was in 1st grade, and I was 26. Then I gave him pink-eye. He painted my face blue, and I painted his toenails red in return and hid the nail polish remover. He's my only child that looks like me. In his 23 years, he has caused me more sleepless nights than any one else in the world. He was born at 25 weeks gestation...he's my miracle baby.
He's my baby and I love him. My Mama Bear claws are showing. I wish my situation were different and I could let him move here. I feel as if I'm failing him ..AGAIN!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
The Versatile Bloggers
It will be so much a miracle if I can get all these links and hotmail codes correct but here goes...
After receiving a message from SUPAHMAMA over at http://domesticmischief.blogspot.com/ I found some instructions about linking up and nominating 15 of my favorite, recently discovered bloggers.
Here are the instructions:
First, I want to say thanks to SUPAHMAMA for thinking of me and including me in her list. She is definately in my top 5 blogs I have to read on a regular basis. She doesn't write as if everything is all cotton candy and rainbows and her words always seem authentic to me which is something I like in the blogs I read. She's not just SUPAHMAMA but SUPAHBLOGGR too cause she's managed to do BOTH for a few years now.
Second, I need to share 7 things about myself:
1) I struggle with the decision to spank or not to spank. I was spanked (occassionally). Everyone I grew up with was spanked and (most of us) turned out to be responsible adults. The kids from a generation ago seemed so much better behaved to me, so sometimes I just get really confused over what I should do.
2) I love Summer, but I miss living in an area where we have real changes in seasons. The cool air and frost of a late October morning. Driving through a rural area where colorful leaves are falling from the trees. That first day of spring when I can drive with my car window down, and really see the greeness filling in the trees and flowers and trees budding into new life.
3) I am totally addicted to Diet Mt. Dew and Dt. Pepsi. I could easily drink a 2 liter per day and NEVER drink water. It was easy for me to quit smoking, but I can only shake the soda habit for a little while then I go back to it.
4) I never wanted a wedding. I love beautiful wedding dresses and watching the wedding shows on TLC. I love the decorations, and I always cry from the sweetness of my friend's weddings, but for some reason I always hated the idea of my own wedding. My thoughts were ok let's just do this and get it over. I think it's because I just like things to stay simple. When I have to start with the "extras" I get annoyed. Like I'll cook, but I HATE to have to follow a recipe if it involves more than 5 steps and maybe 3 dishes. Give me a pre-fab meal (Stouffer's Frozen Lasagne is AWESOME in sooo many ways) or let me cook what I already know how to cook and be done with it. (btw...not lucky enough to get a sponsor around here so I mentioned Stouffer's because I REALLY like it)
5) I honestly think I could give the guy on Man vs. Food a run for his money, and I'm only kidding a little bit.
6) I love taking road trips and driving. On my bucket list is to take a year to drive around the U.S. all by myself.
7) I am in love with the Italian Margharitas with Amaretto on the side that you get at Olive Garden. I could use about 3 right now.
3. My nominations are:
http://domesticmischief.blogspot.com/
http://thingsicantsay.com/
http://www.nakedjen.com/
http://www.whatnowandwhy.com/
http://undomesticatedconfessions.blogspot.com/
http://www.twosetsoftwins.com/
http://justanothermomoftwins2.blogspot.com
and this is hard since I lost all my favorites list the other day and still haven't found them all again, so a few more could be added to the list a little later.
After receiving a message from SUPAHMAMA over at http://domesticmischief.blogspot.com/ I found some instructions about linking up and nominating 15 of my favorite, recently discovered bloggers.
Here are the instructions:
The Rules for The Versatile Blogger Award
1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading.
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.First, I want to say thanks to SUPAHMAMA for thinking of me and including me in her list. She is definately in my top 5 blogs I have to read on a regular basis. She doesn't write as if everything is all cotton candy and rainbows and her words always seem authentic to me which is something I like in the blogs I read. She's not just SUPAHMAMA but SUPAHBLOGGR too cause she's managed to do BOTH for a few years now.
Second, I need to share 7 things about myself:
1) I struggle with the decision to spank or not to spank. I was spanked (occassionally). Everyone I grew up with was spanked and (most of us) turned out to be responsible adults. The kids from a generation ago seemed so much better behaved to me, so sometimes I just get really confused over what I should do.
2) I love Summer, but I miss living in an area where we have real changes in seasons. The cool air and frost of a late October morning. Driving through a rural area where colorful leaves are falling from the trees. That first day of spring when I can drive with my car window down, and really see the greeness filling in the trees and flowers and trees budding into new life.
3) I am totally addicted to Diet Mt. Dew and Dt. Pepsi. I could easily drink a 2 liter per day and NEVER drink water. It was easy for me to quit smoking, but I can only shake the soda habit for a little while then I go back to it.
4) I never wanted a wedding. I love beautiful wedding dresses and watching the wedding shows on TLC. I love the decorations, and I always cry from the sweetness of my friend's weddings, but for some reason I always hated the idea of my own wedding. My thoughts were ok let's just do this and get it over. I think it's because I just like things to stay simple. When I have to start with the "extras" I get annoyed. Like I'll cook, but I HATE to have to follow a recipe if it involves more than 5 steps and maybe 3 dishes. Give me a pre-fab meal (Stouffer's Frozen Lasagne is AWESOME in sooo many ways) or let me cook what I already know how to cook and be done with it. (btw...not lucky enough to get a sponsor around here so I mentioned Stouffer's because I REALLY like it)
5) I honestly think I could give the guy on Man vs. Food a run for his money, and I'm only kidding a little bit.
6) I love taking road trips and driving. On my bucket list is to take a year to drive around the U.S. all by myself.
7) I am in love with the Italian Margharitas with Amaretto on the side that you get at Olive Garden. I could use about 3 right now.
3. My nominations are:
http://domesticmischief.blogspot.com/
http://thingsicantsay.com/
http://www.nakedjen.com/
http://www.whatnowandwhy.com/
http://undomesticatedconfessions.blogspot.com/
http://www.twosetsoftwins.com/
http://justanothermomoftwins2.blogspot.com
and this is hard since I lost all my favorites list the other day and still haven't found them all again, so a few more could be added to the list a little later.
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