Can't think of a title..or content...so anyway

Whew!...What a long few days weeks it's been. I've been snowed under with sick kids and school work. Thank Spongebob that Scrooge wasn't sick too. Not just because DUH men are big annoying babies when they're sick but because I was sick too. And he picked up the slack. Which...in the kid dept. isn't really unusual..he's great with the kids. But he's usually not so nice for such a long stretch.

We have had a rough day here or there in the last month, but it's really a big improvement. IF things could stay like this then things would atleast be peaceful all the time...well..between Scrooge and I. With 3 kids under 5 there's always plenty of noise.

The holidays were good. My 5 year old was able to help me prepare some of the food for Thanksgiving like mixing the stuffing and stirring ingredients for different dishes. She had a really good time, and I had lots of fun with her helping me.

My post have been few and far between and kind of boring, my New Year's resolution is to spice  things up around here a bit.

Food for thought

Lately I can NOT stop thinking about food and eating. I feel hungry even though I'm drinking plenty of liquids to fill up. The Dr. did test a few months ago to check my thyroid which turned out fine. I'm sure a big part of it is emotional eating, but I feel hungry no matter what the cause is. Atleast, most of the time I do.

If I've just eaten at home and I go out...on my way out I'm thinking or planning about something good to eat. Like maybe a hotdog, cheeseburger, a milkshake, or maybe even a good salad...but those cost too much so I usually don't buy those.  Needless to say I've gained about 20 pounds since this past July.

If I'm not out somewhere I'm snacking on something...all the time. I moved back in (temporarily) with Scrooge last week, so I often find myself sneaking food because I know it's only a matter of time until he gets mad and my weight comes up ...AGAIN...and my little snacks will be brought front and center. At 5'2 and 155 pounds he was already unhappy about my size....now since I'm 175 I can't believe it hasn't came up yet.

I'm so unhappy living with him and having to deal with him on a regular basis. The only good part about moving back in is being here constantly for the kids. Everything else is bullshit. He just likes to be too negative about everything, and no matter WHAT goes wrong...in his eyes I'm always in the wrong. Zavie had an ear infection diagnosed by the Dr...explained to Scrooge that Dr. said not to worry if we see drainage because his ear drums could burst..this would not be uncommon an dhe would need to have some eardrops called in if that happened. I already knew that hearing loss could result from ear infections, but I forgot to mention that to Wes. When he was taking care of Zavie the next day and realized Zave couldn't hear AT ALL that day he was panicking. I mentioned having not thought about it until Wes mentioned it, but it seemed like that Zave had misunderstood some things I said at bedtime and that it must have been some hearing loss going on then. Of course, this made Wes mad....why wouldn't I share something so important with him? (never mind I had THREE sick kids, I was sick, and home work to take care of).

Scrooge went to the grocery yesterday, and he had bought a La choy sweet n sour chicken kit for dinner. I held the box up and asked him if he realized that this was the very stuff he had told me TWICE in the past that he didn't like. He told me once and got upset the second time I got it (since he had already told me he didn't like it) until he found out I got it for myself because I did like it. Anyway, he asked me what it was he hadn't liked about it. I said ..I don't know something about the taste...he said I can't just tell him he didn't like something and not go into details and expect him to remember because I could just be saying that or mixed up myself. I said I didn't really think it was important for me to remember why HE didn't like something....as long as I remembered he didn't like it and not make it for him any more. In the end, he was feeling like I was just arguing and not listening to his logic because I just wanted to be argumentative. He tried it and said it was ok, but there was something about that sweet n sour taste he hadn't liked. I mentioned that yes I remembered he didn't like the sweet n sour and it was why he didn't want me to make it for him anymore. Then he gets upset because "now I'm changing my story"? He said I should have said specifically what it was he didnt like instead of just refering to "this" when I held the box up to him that morning and said he didnt like this. I tried to explain that if I'm holding something in my hand you could probably assume when I say "this" I mean SPECIFICALLY what I have in my hand. Of course..this is me being argumentative instead of him just being an ass.

Around last weekend he said (again) that he finally saw me making an effort to do things differently. I was "on my game" and he finally felt like I was trying to "be on the same page". This he has said several times in the past whenever we have went a few weeks with him getting mostly everything he wants and no arguing. When he said this I felt worried because in my experience him saying this means a downward spiral in the way we relate. I try to do everything the same way and maybe try harder, but everything just seems to be wrong. Then he starts feeling like I'm being argumentative just to be argumentative and all of his problems become rolled up in that. He starts moping around and getting hardly anything done. We''' have little discussion that will continually escalate over a few days or a month and then there will be a big blow-up where I end up crying, feeling disrespected (sometimes hurt physically), and promising and trying to "do better" and not be a drag to him and his education and goals. It's a cycle of abuse that is never ending with us and I just enable it to happen. I just feel so encouraged by the little peaceful times that THIS time things could actually be better. I can usually even tell when he's gonna start all this stuff. He is in good moods, non-complaining, productive, and more pleasant to be around than he ususally is. Then he seems a little "off" for a day or two. He rallies enough to say he notices "improvements" and then we start down the other side.

I feel he very possibly has bi-polar, but getting him to agree to help or counseling will only escalate things. He'll take offense that I'm trying to say he's the one who needs help, and that will just "prove" to him that I've slowly and surely resorted back to my old ways.

I know this post is rambling, but that's the way my mind feels when things get like this between Scrooge and I.

I have to go...I'm feeling hungry

The days of Sickness

Tomorrow will be officially 2weeks of a house full of sick people. If we have to take Zaurie, our 3 year old, to the Dr. today it will be the TENTH  Dr. visit in 11 days. Only 4 of those visits have been for only 1 person at a time. The rest were for multiple visits. The only one who seems to have escaped the worst of it was Scrooge. He's had the sniffles and a few aches, but that's about it. The rest of us have been down with 102 degree fevers, coughs, sinus infections, and ear aches. I'm so fucking tired of being sick, seeing the Dr, and my poor kiddos being so sick.

I hope this is not an indication of how the winter is going to go. We've been lucky with only a few illnesses throughout the years. We were not prepared for all this sickness...or the Grouchies that come along with it. Normally, taking care of them being sick is easy, but I've had a sinus infection and ear infection myself and the antibiotics don't seem to be touching it. Blah

Everything taste terrible, so appetites have been pretty much non-existant. This has made meal times much easier....bananas and yogurt is about the only thing the kids will even think about eating the last week or so. Even that will sometimes be turned down in the same way a big bowl of green gruel would be.

Well, it's medicine time for everyone so off I go.

Messy Days

 

Writing prompt found over at mamakatslosinit: (badge at the top...head on over)
1.) The SITS Girls are giving away a Canon Rebel Camera and are asking people to enter by writing a post following these directions and answer this prompt: Spending time with friends and family can lead to fun and memorable moments, but also some very messy ones. Tell us about the messiest moments that you’ll always remember! Let's hear yours! I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out www.BleachItAway.com. Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

It seems like a lot of my post are about poop these days, but whatever, it is what it is. Here goes....

When my son was a wee baby (he's 22 23 yrs.old now) we spent A LOT of time at grandparent's houses because, at the time, he was the first grandchild, and the first great-grandchild, and the first great-great-grandchild on either side of the family. I wasn't complaining though because this meant that he and I were both spoiled cause DUH! trips to grandma's = awesome for all involved. Anyway, his grandparents, uncle, his dad, and me and him were all sitting together in the living room...hey there was no internet and they had ONE tv with satellite programming. We had all just ate dinner that mother-in-law cooked(told you it was awesome). There was a TERRIBLE smell, and my MIL got a little upset that SOMEONE had passed gas---in HER living room---on HER couch???

A few denials and some sniffing around (literally) led us to my son's diapered bottom. We hadn't suspected him because until this point he had never been a silent Pooper. There was no shame to his little 7 month game and poop-time always followed and accompanied a series of grunts and howls and ummm...loud passing of "the gas" if you know what I mean. (trying to keep it clean for this to be posted on SITS site). We had also been very lucky to never have had a "blow-out" diaper situation. He was almost always constipated. I picked him up from his walker to change him, and everyone gasp and went into panic mode as soon as I turned around with him. I had no idea what was wrong, but it was such a strong reaction that it freaked me out because I thought such a reaction surely meant he was missing some important part. They freaked, I freaked because they freaked, and he freaked out because we all had freaked. In only a short moment I caught on to what had happened... I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there holding him. The thing that alerted me was a cold drip,drip,drip on the top of my leg that ran all the way down to my ankle VERY quickly. His grandmother went into action mode and swooped him away to the bathroom. I followed, and his dad followed, then his uncle and grandfather followed. (how many people does it take to change a 7 month old's diaper?) We were all calmed down a little bit, but my son was in a full-fledged fit. There was poop all over his legs and up his back. The more he kicked and wiggled the more he "flung" it everywhere. Finally, we had his clothes and diaper off and got him into the tub. The tub had poop smeared all over as did his grandmother and me. After finally getting him rinsed off we handed him, wrapped in a towel, to someone. The tub was sanitized (with Clorox of course) and then we were finally able to give him a complete bath and get him back to his sweet smelling self. Then his grandmother and I both needed a bath and change of clothes, and the carpet and his walker needed to be scrubbed. The whole ordeal took about 2 hours to get everyone and everything cleaned and back to normal.

That was the biggest mess that I've ever dealt with at any type of family gathering. It's funny......now.

All About Me

Here I am doing another prompt from Mamakatslosinit almost world famous writer's shop. (badge up above)

I guess that may be a good thing since it'll cut down on any ramblings I have up in my mind being transfered to paper  keyboard.

This will be a FAQ sheet all about me:

What is my favorite food? what isn't?

What is my favorite mixed drink? Italian Margharitas with Ameretto on the side from OLIVE GARDEN.

First kiss...how old? 14

My dream job? a best-selling author along the lines of Anne Rice, Stephen King, or Dean Koontz

My idea of a job from hell? any office job, where I'm confined to my desk all day

Helicopter parent or free-range parent? free-range on my own, but helicopter to keep Scrooge happy.

Favorite music? depends on my mood...may be anything from Willie Nelson, CCR, Eagles, Motley Crue, Jimmy Cliff, Peter Tosh, Jay-z, Cindy lauper, Simon/Garfunkel, Bethoven.........