TMI about TFU

Too Much Information about Too Few Undies:

This  may be a little TMI, but it's the only thing I can think of so I'll write it anyway. Consider yourself warned (though it is kind of like an accident when you know it's going to be bad but you still look out of the corner of your eye).

I hate to wear bloomers/panties/undies/drawers. Whatever it is you want to call them I. HATE. TO. WEAR. THEM. I had to write that in all caps to get the point across of just how much I REALLY. HATE. TO. WEAR. THEM. ok. sorry back to the point. (was there one?)

My first memory of this was when I was in kindergarten. Most kids loved Underoos. Not me. I had a pair that were either stretched out of shape from the washer ringer (google it) that my grandmother use to run our clothes through before hanging them on the clothesline to dry or just too damn big. All I know was that one day my grandmother was in no mood for my finicky taste in undies dept. and insisted I wear those stupid things because she was NOT going to wait another 10 minutes for me to pick out a pair I wanted (hint: none!). How a pair of undies can simultaneously ride up from the bottom while falling down at the top is beside me, but after recess I knew that it was a done deal for those Underoos. If I was going to get any rest at nap time then I had to get rid of those things. So I threw them in the trash and spent the rest of the day paranoid that my teacher, or classmate would notice, or even worse...my grandmother when I got home. The relief I felt for the rest of the afternoon would have made it worth it I'm sure.

A couple of decades later I discovered thongs which were so much better than regular undies since at least one  part of them were secure and couldn't slide around. Then during pregnancy in which they would roll down under my belly and a couple bouts of hemorrhoids due to pregnancy I was so over the whole thong phase. It was during this time that I started ditching undies on a regular basis. I've never been a big dress wearer, and I don't wear shorts above my knees anymore either because of spider veins I developed during pregnancy (plus I can get by with not shaving my legs longer). I don't even wear tank tops or sleeveless shirts because I just don't like the way they look on me, , so don't worry, if I ever meet any of you I won't pull a Britney Spears and accidentally flash anyone. 

So there is part of my long, sordid history with undies. Now that I think about it, I've always been kind of sensitive about what I wear and the way it feels (turtlenecks..bleh!!). The next thing you know I'll be taking off even  more clothes and writing about it. OH! I already did here .