It's quiet out here at the back outdoor study area at my college. There are only a few students here studying. The traffic in the distance can almost be imagined as waves as I close my eyes and feel the light breeze on this warm Florida night.
I feel homeless between 8p.m. and 6 a.m. because my house is not a home to me until my kids are awake and about. The kids will be in bed by the time I go to the place I keep my clothes. There will be nothing there for me but the couch, my laptop, and a book.
I'm not making light of homelessness. I've lived in a car for two months many years ago, so I have an idea of what it's like. I had more of a home in that car than I do with a 3 bedroom house.
I'll wake up tomorrow with the rising of the sun (and my son..who is always my first to get up) and things will be just fine. But for now, I think I'll keep my eyes closed and pretend I'm at the beach for a while longer.
4 comments:
It's always calming to pretend, huh? Especially when we know better. I wish things were less hostile in your home, that you felt like it was "home" when you were there.
I hope your home finds you tomorrow. You are a beautiful writer!
You are such a great writer.
You and I share the same fantasy. I often close my eyes and dream I am sitting in my chair on the sand. Living in a car for a while -- that would always make me thank ful for a roof over my head. That would be a gift from that experience. A healthy perspective of how and where we call home.
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