Monday, March 19, 2012

Comment Etiquette and Naked Bodies... Great start to a monday

 So this morning I'm sitting at a McD's drinking coffee, reading blogs, and killing time until it's time to meet right up the road for a Sociology field trip at a Nudist Resort. Should be interesting since I live close to here and the ONLY people I ever see leaving from there are at least 55+. Not that I don't think their choice is great, but I just hadn't counted on seeing naked bodies of that age and over for about another 10-15 years. Bodies are great no matter the size, shape, age, condition, but I wouldn't want to see a naked body 10-15 years younger than me either. I have some time to kill and decided to post something I've been thing about lately and just haven't had enough free time to do it.

I like to think that I'm usually pretty good at reading people and knowing what to say when we're in a conversation. If the person seems to be down, pissed, or confused I use body signals, tone of voice, and can ask questions to be able to respond (or sometimes not respond and just give an ear) in the correct way.

I have a difficult time doing this with comments on blogs. It's like not having those physical cues really throw my brain out of whack. When I read other blogs, or comments on my blog I always ask my questions like:

 1. Does this comment make light of something they feel is serious?
2. Will it be taken in the way I mean it? (I can assure anyone I NEVER NEVER have bad intentions)
3. Does this comment show that I understand where they're coming from or just hi-jacking their post/comments?
4. Does this sound judgmental in any way?

I go through the whole process when trying to decide whether or not to hit the "submit" button. There are LOTS of times I'll write a comment but never post it because I read some comments people leave that sound really harsh...and they'll later post that they didn't mean to come off a certain way. They only realize this once there is some negative feed back from the comment.

I don't have this problem on my personal Facebook page because I only have people I know personally and have physically spent time around them and know how they talk and use words, their background etc... I also know s little about the circles they roll in which can make a big difference in deciding how things may be taken.

Now I don't really care too much about how people take the things I write on my own blog post since that is suppose to portray my feelings and experiences. When it comes to responding directly to a commenter it's a whole different story, or if I'm commenting on their post....because that's dealing with someone else's (correct spelling of that please) personal feelings.  Should I comment back to every comment left on my post? I f I respond to one, but not another, is that rude? If I post a generic comment like " great post/comment/ideas...thanks" will that seem like I really don't appreciate all the people who have bothered to comment or share their story?

This is just me rambling on to say that if I don't comment on your post often this is why. If I say something that is assured I would NEVER intentionally do that...and I'm sorry if I do.

BLEH!!! as if life isn't hard enough here I go finding things, that are probably trivial, to worry my bed head about.


Mark said...

I've only known you for a couple of weeks now and you haven't pissed me off yet. Let's give it time. ha!
I used to reply to every single person but ran out of time in my day. Now I'll just to to respond to those who only require an answer. Does that make sense?

Arnebya said...

I'll say this: if you mean your comment genuinely, it'll come across that way. I don't believe people EVER when they say Oh I didn't know that sounded mean. Bullshit. I do think people can misunderstand online and in email, etc., but I think it's rare unless the commenter is being purposely ambiguous. I agree w/Mark, though; comment as you see fit. I don't think it's rude to not comment to every person. If something strikes you as wow, that person really put a lot of thought into that comment or you are really moved by someone's words, yes, reply if you want. But that doesn't mean that the person above them who only said I'm thinking of you wasn't equally as moved by your post. I don't think people leave comments (at least I don't) to get a response. I also don't think people look at what you respond to in the comments and say she responded to her but not to me, I'm not going to visit her anymore. You'll figure it out as you go, really. And you'll find what works for you and the people who follow you regularly will come to realize that they're all appreciated whether you singly respond or not.